Are you letting discipline ruin your relationships?

Being a mom is hard.  I mean, tears falling into my kitchen sink hard.  I’m going to be real for a minute.  I have two very sweet boys and I dearly love them.  One of them, though, well… he knows how to push buttons.  There are many, many times when I’m stretched to what I feel like is my absolutely limit.  There are many, many, many times when I’m standing in my kitchen crying out to God asking for Him to just… take… it.  Today I'm blogging over at Kaylene Yoder as part of the 30 Days of Raising Boys.  Stop by and say hi!

10 Days in the Fruits of the Spirit {Day 8 ~ Faithfulness}

Faithfulness can be hard.  I think sometimes we are too quick to give up on things.  I'm so thankful we serve a God who is faithful.  His love never ends and we are forever His children.  He will never stop holding us.  Such a great promise!  

Today's lesson is an ooey-gooey mess!  So messy, in fact, that Little Man wouldn't do it!  We still managed to make it through the lesson.  We were.... faithful.  ;)

FAITHFULNESS ~ I will not quit.

Psalm 89:33 ~ "But I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness."

The how-to is pretty basic.  Mix up a batch of cornstarch and water.  Play with the amounts until you reach a consistency that will hold together when squeezed, but return to liquid when you let go.  

As a teacher, I used some old classroom logic.  Let the kids play first... well before you try to teach.  I handed Little Man the bowl and he stuck approximately half a finger in before deciding it was too icky.  So for the lesson, we used my hands.  :/

I demonstrated a few times that I could squeeze the mixture and it would harden in my hand.  When I opened up my hand, it spilled out.  

"So what happens when I give up?"  It spills everywhere.  "Who never, ever, ever gives up on us?"  God.  Exactly.  We can squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and eventually our hands are going to get tired.  God never gets tired of holding us.  He is faithful.  

So when we make a big mess of everything, God will squeeze us and put us back together.  Isn't He cool like that?  The same God who holds the whole ocean in His hands holds us just as easily.  

God, thank you for loving us.  I'm sorry that I gave up when I __________.  I know that I should trust You.  I will not stop loving You.  Help me to be faithful when things are hard.  Amen.

I leave you with some of my favorite lyrics.  "Your love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on me."

Need to catch up?  You can find the other Fruits of the Spirit posts here {Overview, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness}!  Want to make sure you never miss a post?  Follow us on Bloglovin'!

10 Days in the Fruits of the Spirit {Day 7~ Goodness}

It's officially fall!  I love the crisp air, the feeling of a new season.  I know many people think of spring as a season of new beginnings.  I agree, but I also think fall is too.  We're approaching a season of thanks and of giving.  Every year, I strive to be a family that spends more time focusing on the aspect of giving and service.  It's a great time for a "31 days of kindness" endeavor.  Lots of opportunities for "good deeds" around these fall and winter holidays.  

This lesson was great on so many levels.  It gave us the chance to talk about so many different topics... friends, good deeds, obedience, repentance... As always, we started out with the videos and picture book.  If you missed any of the previous posts, you can catch up here {overview, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, resources}!

GOODNESS ~ I will do what is right.

Our verse for goodness was Matthew 5:16.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven."

We started this lesson with a question.  What are some good things you can do?  The answers to this were all over the place.  What are some not good things we see people do?  Even more answers.  It amazes me how many of them involved farting and pooping.  Ugh.  I know God had a plan when He made me a boy mom, but sometimes I still wonder what He was thinking.  

"So Little Man, we need to be careful about who we surround ourselves with.  We want to be nice to everyone, but we want to make sure we are only being influenced by the good around us."  Note: the level of conversation will definitely depend on the age of your little one.  

After a little discussion, I gave him three bowls.  One had cooked pasta.  If we're completely honest, I thought I had some rotini pasta, but I was mistaken.  I broke lasagna pieces apart.  I would definitely encourage you to use some sort of small pasta pieces like rotini, bowties, penne, or macaroni.  The flat pasta was a little difficult.  I digress.  

Together, we came up with things that each of the bowls could represent.  "Little Man, what something that your friends do that you really like and makes you want to be around them?"  Church friends, kind words, friendly.  "Now what are some things kids might do that you don't want to be around?"  Lying, calling names, being mean.  We added blue food coloring to the "good" bowl and green to the "bad" bowl.  "Little Man, let's pretend that each of these pieces of pasta are one person.  What happens when they mix with the good people?"  They turn blue (good) too.  "Right, now what happens when we add them to the group of lying kids?"  They start lying too. 

We carried it a step further and I asked him to think of something to call the "clear" group.  His first comment was that they weren't bad, so we went with that.  I picked up one of the pasta pieces that had been stained green and asked him to predict what would happen if I added it to the clean group.  He quickly covered the bowl and shouted, "No, no, no, no!"  I think he got it.

At the end, I poured a little bit of bleach in a bowl.  I told him the bleach was like God's forgiveness.  I asked him to predict what would happen if I added one of the lying pasta pieces to the bowl of bleach.  It's really neat.  The bleach washes away the sin and the lies and makes it clean again.  "Little Man, God is amazing like that!  He forgives us and we are white as snow again!"

"Is it okay to be nice to everyone?"  Absolutely.  "Do we want to be good?"  Of course!  "How do we do that?"  Hang out with the good people.  Yes.  If we are going to be "colored" by the influences around us, we should make sure we are being colored in a good way.  We should absolutely be kind to everyone, but we need to make sure we are only influenced by the good.  We should make sure our friends help us to make good choices and do the right thing.  

Dear Jesus, thank You for being good and thank You for forgiving us when we are not.  I'm sorry that I wasn't making a good choice when I _______.  Please help me to be good.  Help me to be kind to everyone, but be a light for Your good.  Help me to make good choices so that other people will want to do them too.  Amen.

Couldn't we all use this lesson?  This world needs a few more lights in the darkness!

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15 Fantastic Verses to Memorize With Your Family {Ephesians 4:26}

Happy Sunday, friends!  Today I'm sharing a verse that I pray daily!  On a side note, I'm trying out a new look for the Scripture cards.  Any thoughts?

When we are angry, it's really easy to fall into the temptation to sin.  As a family, we are memorizing this verse as a reminder to stay calm when we are angry.  We can still disagree, but use kind words and a loving attitude.  We  can also seek to resolve conflict quickly so that relationships are not damaged.

Here's how it works.  Every Sunday (Scripture Sunday, if you will...), I'll post the set of four cards.  Save them as images and then print however many you want!  They are designed to print as a 4x6, but other sizes should work as well.  Print them on cardstock (or even just regular paper) and stick them in a photo album to review!

Want to make sure you don't miss next week's verses?  Be sure to follow us on Bloglovin'!

Y'all are awesome!  Have a great week!

10 Days in the Fruits of the Spirit {Day 6: Kindness}

All that patience you practiced paid off!  We're continuing on this marathon of Fruits of the Spirit!  Seriously, you should see my tabs bar right now.  I can't even begin to count how many windows I have open.  Lesson learned though... next time I won't start posting the series until I have all the posts written!  :)

I know we have some newcomers to Mommy & Her Men, so here's a recap from Day 1 over how the Fruits of the Spirit study works.  First, get some breakfast.  Not going to lie... in our house, cereal seems to be the go-to.  Then, get comfy at the table and get to work!   

While we were eating, I had Little Man watch two YouTube videos.  One is a song that we watched each day.  The other is a great series by a man called Hi Hi the Bible Guy.  He is fantastic!  He does objects lessons for everything and he does them big!  I'm talking fire, explosions, power tools, all of it.  Total boy stuff.  

After the videos, we would review the page in the story for that particular fruit and give him the descriptive phrase.  I'll go into that more later.  I would then read our verse of the day.  We would talk about it and I would guide him to make the connection between the verse and the fruit.  This was just conversation over breakfast.  In all of our talks, I tried to be very intentional about relating the fruit directly to Little Man.  We talked about things he specifically did or didn't do.  I made him come up with examples of how he could demonstrate the fruit.  All in all, they were good talks.  

After we finished eating, we would do an object lesson.  He LOVED these!  After the lesson, we would go back to our verse of the day and add our final thoughts.  If you have a child that is old enough, this would be a great time to journal.  Little Man isn't quite there yet.  I'm hoping after a few more units he will be.  

As we closed our lesson, we would pray over the verse, using our names to pray it specifically for us.  Finally, as an extension, he would work on the stained glass cutouts.  These were discussed in the Day 1 post.  If you missed it, you can get caught up here.  This was the time I would usually clean up breakfast.  Sometimes, he'd let me continue the conversation.  Other times, he felt he was all talked out.  If you really want to extend it, have them watch a Veggie Tales episode while they're doing the stained glass and point out examples of the fruits in the characters.  

And that's that!  I know it sounds like a lot, but it really isn't.  Eat, video, verse, chat, object lesson, pray, extension.  Maybe 20 minutes?  

Now that we're all caught up, on to our lesson on kindness!

KINDNESS ~ I will be nice to everyone.

Our verse for kindness was Ephesians 4:32.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

One of the things we talk about in our house is making kind choices.  We expect everyone in our home to use kind words and to demonstrate kind actions.  Lately, we're working on replacing some *less than respectful* words with kind words.  Let's try that again.  How can you make sure you're saying that with kind words?

For this lesson, all you'll need is your sink and some objects of various sizes and weights.  They should be objects that you don't mind dropping in the water.  Fill your sink with water and make sure the stopper is all the way in... speaking from personal experience here.

I started by asking Little Man to drop a heavier object in the water and make some observations.  It made a big splash!  Those are big waves!  Yes.  When you dropped the rock into the water, it made a big splash and lots of waves.  It changed the water.  It wasn't smooth anymore.

We compared the different objects to acts of kindness.  I asked him to think of some really big acts of kindness.  Giving blankets to the homeless.  Collecting food from the neighborhood to take to the food bank. Then we talked about some small acts of kindness.  Letting someone else go down the slide first.  Smiling at people in the grocery store.  We found some big, heavy items to drop and some small, lighter objects.  

As we dropped them, I kept asking for observations.  He figured it out pretty quickly.  They all made the water change.  They all made waves.  Yes Little Man!  Every object made waves in the water!  Just like every act of kindness makes a change in the person who receives it.  Sometimes people need a big act of kindness and sometimes they just need a smile.  Our job is to be kind to everyone... in big ways and little ways.

Kindness is ongoing.  We still talk daily about how to choose kind words.  We still try to be intentional about finding ways to demonstrate kindness.  I firmly believe that kindness is taught in behavior and not just in words.  As parents, it's our job to model it regularly.  In the way we treat strangers.  In the way we treat our spouses.  In the way we treat our kids. 

As always, we concluded our Breakfast with the Bible time by praying over our verse (using the "ACTS" model and the words from the verse) and working on his torn paper stained glass.  

"Jesus, I praise you for showing kindness to everyone you met!  I'm sorry that I didn't show kindness when I ______.  Please forgive me.  Thank you for friends and parents that show me kindness when they______.  Please help me show kindness to everyone.  Help me to forgive others when they are unkind to me.  Amen."

Have you been following the study?  Which day has been your favorite so far?

Don't miss Day 7!  Follow us on Bloglovin'!

Come join the fun!  We're linking up at Teaching Mama, Apron Strings & Other Things, and Arabah Joy!

10 Days in the Fruits of the Spirit {Day 5 ~ Patience}

Well, goodness gracious.  I am the worst blogger ever!  In hind sight, I probably shouldn't have started this series right before school started, especially considering I'm in a new grade level this yer.  Busy, busy, busy.  Be prepared for a Fruits of the Spirit marathon, okay?  :) 

 If you need to get caught up, here's where you can find Day 1 {Overview}, Day 2 {Love}, Day 3 {Joy}, and Day 4 {Peace}.

So let's be real for a minute, patience is a struggle.  I kept seeing the marshmallow lesson all over Pinterest.  I thought it would be a great way to introduce patience to Little Man.  Well, if this was a test, he would have failed.  :(  Clearly we have some work to do in this area.  

PATIENCE ~ I will wait without complaining.

Our verse for joy was Romans 12:12.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

As a side note, I had planned on taking the picture at the end ... you know, a smiling face that earned the reward for being patient.  Didn't happen. I'm sure you all know what your little ones look like when they're struggling while they wait. 

Before we started talking, I set a marshmallow on the table in front of Little Man.  I told him that he could eat it right now and it would be fine.  BUT... if we waited patiently, without complaining, he could have three marshmallows at the end of Breakfast with the Bible.  Yeah.... he ate it.  I laughed.  

We attempted a conversation about patience.  I asked him to name some things that he is excited about or looking forward to.  We talked about how it feels to wait.  I asked him to think of things he could do while we waited.  Overall, I tried to lead him to the conclusion that he can pray.  He can spend time with God.  

Ultimately, I want him to understand that there are times we have to wait on God to answer a prayer.  We had a short talk about the ways God answers prayers.  Do you remember that lesson from Sunday School?  Yes.  No.  Wait.  That waiting part is hard, but it's something we have to do.... as kids and as adults.  Have you heard that saying, "While you're waiting on God to open a door, praise Him in the hallway"?  I want Little Man to understand that we can wait patiently for things on earth and answers to prayers.  We do the same things while we wait.  

We will revisit some lessons on patience.  I also saw a lesson about making a paper chain when you are waiting for an event.  Each day you can remove a link and write something you are thankful for in the time being.  I liked that.  I think we'll try that next.  

Just as we did with our other lessons, we ended by praying over our verse using the ACTS model.

"Jesus, it's awesome that You promise to answer every prayer.  I'm sorry for not always waiting patiently.  I get excited and I feel like I have to have it right now.  Thank you for teaching me how to wait without complaining.  Help me to be joyful while I wait, to be patient while I wait, and to pray while I wait.  Amen."

As with the other lessons, we read the book and watched the Hi Hi the Bible Guy video.   We finished up our lesson for the day with a "We'll come back to this again... and wait patiently in the meantime!"

Don't miss Day 6!  Follow us on Bloglovin'!

Come join the fun!  We're linking up at Teaching Mama, My Joy-Filled Life and 1+1+1=1!

15 Fantastic Verses to Memorize With Your Family {Psalm 118:24}

Happy Sunday, friends!  It's short and sweet today!  When our minds are filled with God's Word, all the ugly things have no room to sneak in!  Let's fill our minds today!  Here is another verse for you to memorize with your family!

Here's how it works.  Every Sunday (Scripture Sunday, if you will...), I'll post the set of four cards.  Save them as images and then print however many you want!  They are designed to print as a 4x6, but other sizes should work as well.  Print them on cardstock (or even just regular paper) and stick them in a photo album to review!

Spend the week memorizing these verses with your family!  Come back next week for the next verse!  We'd also love to have you hop over to the Facebook page and let us know your favorite way to practice your verses!  This week, ours is the Spoon Sort!

Want to make sure you don't miss next week's verses?  Be sure to follow us on Bloglovin'!

Y'all are awesome!  Have a great week!